Newborn Life: 12 Takeaways for Perspective

He’s fed. We’re all alive. My teeth are brushed.

Life with a newborn sets different standards for success. I knew the first few weeks would be hard, but really, nothing can prepare you for the sleep deprivation and postpartum stress. I can’t begin to imagine how anyone handles the newborn stage without a supportive spouse and lots of grace from Jesus. I’m very thankful for both!

The good news is that the saying, “It gets easier,” is true. The last few weeks, we’ve started to find our rhythm, however imperfect. As I look back and see how far we’ve come, I find reoccurring takeaways that I hope I can apply to other areas of my life as well. These are in no particular order, but I hope you can find something here to encourage you this week, whether you’re a new mom or not.

#1: You can’t plan for everything.

I had read all the books, taken classes to prepare for labor, and even prepared a hospital plan. Right, those all went out the window when I was induced three weeks early without any warning. You just can’t plan for everything.

#2: You don’t know what you don’t know.

I didn’t know that some of the breastfeeding advice I received wasn’t helpful until I finally met an incredible lactation consultant. I was already a few weeks postpartum and discouraged that it took me so long to get the information I needed. But as I came to realize, you don’t know what you don’t know.

#3: Accept that some things will always be out of your control.

I probably failed hardest with this one. I had planned to exclusively breastfeed, and due to circumstances outside my control, was not able to do so. I tried everything to increase my milk supply, but even my lactation consultant was stumped why my supply never fully came in. Only after many bitter tears did I let go of my plan A and find peace with our combination feeding plan.

#4: Don’t cry over spilt milk.

I totally cried over spilt milk. Once, my husband accidentally dumped out the small amount of breastmilk I had been able to pump. I sobbed, and he felt horrible. Now I understand where this saying came from and how hard it can be not to cry over something small that involved effort on your part. But as I learned, we really do need to let spilt milk be spilt milk and move on.

#5: Sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do.

I finally gave myself permission to quit pumping, which I loathed and which apparently loathed me back. When I decided to just breastfeed as much as I could and supplement the rest, I felt a huge load fall off my shoulders and started enjoying feedings instead of dreading them.

#6: Stop apologizing for what isn’t your fault.

There were a few weeks where our son would cry unconsolably (colic symptoms) for a few hours each evening, and I would blubber I’m sorry a hundred times. My husband finally called me out. Babies cry. It’s not your fault as long as he’s fed, dry, loved, and cared for.

#7: You will make mistakes.

I was proud how successful I was with the nail clippers until I accidentally pinched my son’s skin and he let out a whimper. I was devastated for missing his nail and probably cried more than he did. But the truth is, I will make mistakes as a mom. And we all make mistakes as humans. We just have to learn from them, kiss the resulting boo-boo, and give ourselves some grace.

#8: Celebrate small victories.

The first time our son slept six hours through the night, I wanted to throw a party. Prior to that, we had been getting four to four-and-a-half-hour stretches. For those of you without newborns, I realize there is nothing impressive about six hours, but for new parents, it’s a serious victory. Celebrate it.

#9: If you aren’t intentional about time with Jesus, it won’t happen.

Prior to having our son, I had a very intentional time each morning to read my Bible and journal. But every day with a newborn can begin differently, and I’ve struggled with a daily practice. It isn’t as consistent as before, but when I find myself with a few minutes of silence, I have to make my quiet time a priority or it won’t happen.

#10: Ask for help. Then ask for more help.

Our Sunday school class organized a meal train for a few nights each week for almost a month. I couldn’t even think about cooking, and these friends literally kept us fed. Also, asking our parents to help or spend a night were lifesaving decisions. Now that I’ve learned this lesson, I just hope people aren’t getting sick of me.

#11: Prioritize your spouse.

It’s really hard to prioritize your spouse when you are feeding a new human every two-and-a-half to three hours, and this little human is completely dependent on you. In order to make time for your spouse a priority, practice #10 and capitalize on nap time!

#12: Be nice to new moms wherever you meet them.

This last one is for everyone who’s not a new mom. Do you see a new mom in the grocery store or at church? Please, give us grace. God knows how much we need it.

Are you a parent or do you have experience with young children? What is something you’ve learned from them that transfers to everyday life?

~ Kristen