Encouragement for the Unseen Mother

Last Mother’s Day was not easy for me. I had suffered an early miscarriage in March, and when May rolled around, the loss remained raw. Still, my husband and I went to church, and I tried not to cry through the songs.

Many churches give away a little gift to mothers, and ours was no exception. Volunteers handed out hundreds, if not thousands, of carnations as we exited the service. I wasn’t going to take one. I had no baby in my belly or child clinging to my hand.

A volunteer handed me one anyway.

“I’m not a mother–” I faltered. I was, really, but I didn’t want to explain.

“Maybe not yet, but you will be someday.” He smiled at my husband and me.

I forced a thank-you and walked away. If only his words were true. But he didn’t know. Only God knew if we would have a child on this side of eternity.

Still, the simple orange carnation was beautiful, and I snapped this picture of it, reminding myself to hope.

Not hope in the man’s words, which might or might not be true. But hope in my God who knows me, knows my desires, and knows His perfect plan for me. As I’ve come to learn, it is often different than what I expect but somehow better, even if I can’t understand it in the moment.

This Mother’s Day

A year later, my baby bump now protrudes beneath my Sunday dress, and my husband and I are trusting God for a healthy baby to join our family this August, though I don’t take any part of this pregnancy journey for granted. Though I may not cry through the songs on Sunday, I will remember how very different last year was.

And I don’t think it’s a stretch to imagine that some other woman stands where I once stood: her heart aching, her womb empty, her unborn baby held in heaven. Perhaps there are others with heartbreaks from stillbirth or loss of a child, losses I can’t even begin to imagine.

I won’t repeat to you the words the volunteer told me. I wish I could say that you will have another pregnancy and a baby here on earth some day, but I have no way of knowing. But I know the God who does know, who comforts us in our hurt, and who does have good plans for us, even when we don’t understand.

Run to Him. Run to His Word. I’d like to share just a few verses that were comforting to me. I didn’t cling to these as “name it and claim” promises, but I did let their truth wash over me: that when God tells me to wait, He has something better in store.

• Isaiah 30:18 – “Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him” (NKJV).
• Isaiah 43:18-19 – “Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert” (NKJV).
• Jeremiah 31:17a – “There is hope in your future, says the Lord …” (NKJV).

Today, I simply want to say that God sees you, young wife. He sees you and knows you and loves you–even if your womb is now empty. And by these simple words of mine, I see you and acknowledge you too. You are not unseen.

Blessings to all the mothers this Mother’s Day.

~ Kristen